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How To Make Lasting Change In Your Life

In the Part 1 of this series, I talked about:

• The science of habits aka the habit formation loop, that is, the cue, routine & reward, with the craving as the key driver and
• The 6 simple steps we can take to make lasting change in our lives.

If you missed part 1 of this series, no need to worry, in today’s article I break down the 6 steps I mentioned in part 1, into a 4 step framework (see below) that can be applied in your life today.

To break those bad habits and create new ones, here’s a 4 step framework you can use to facilitate lasting change:

1. Identify the routine. This is the easiest part of this exercise. It’s all about identifying the behaviour you want to change and writing it down.
2. Understand the craving. To get to the underlying desire/craving that drives the routine identified in step 1, you’ll need to experiment with different routines and rewards to fully understand what is the craving behind the routine and what alternative routines can satisfy the craving.
3. Isolate the cue. This step is about understanding what triggers you to engage in this routine. Often times we aren’t consciously aware of what makes us do what we do and this is one of the things that makes breaking habits hard. This step is all about awareness and we’ll talk about this in a minute.
4. Make a plan. Once you’ve identified what the craving is and the cue, you now have a decision to make, to either eliminate the cue or replace the routine with the healthier substitute identified in step 2. If you choose to eliminate the cue, then it’s all about removing the cue, eg if you want to stop eating a lot of junk food and realise the cue is being in bakeries or having junk food around, then avoid having junk food in the house and going to bakeries. If it’s a cue that you can’t really eliminate, then you can replace the routine, keeping the cue & reward constant. Once you’ve identified your new habit loop, write it down. This is known as an implementation intention eg Once situation X (cue) happens, I will perform Y (routine). Having a clear, detailed and specific plan removes any decision making and makes it easier to stick with the habit. eg I will meditate for 5 minutes in my bed immediately I wake up.

Now that you’ve understood the 4 step framework, let’s use a real example shared by Charles Duhigg, The author of Power of Habit, to explain how to apply these steps in your day-to-day life.

PS: There’s a link to a template you can readily use at the end of this article. Also if you feel a bit lost or confused, check out Part 1 of the #HabitSeries here to get you up to speed.

STEP 1: Identify The Routine

The author shares a story of how everyday during work hours, he would walk to the cafeteria, eat a donut while chatting with friends, then head back to work. He realised that he was slowly putting on weight and wanted to stop eating a donut everyday.

He identified the routine he wanted to change was eating a donut, while noting down all the behaviours that encompass that routine.

What routine do you want to change? Note it down.

STEP 2: Understand The Craving

Now that we know the routine, we can understand the craving the routine meets by experimenting with rewards.

Here, the author looked at the behaviour surrounding his routine, that is, walking to the cafeteria, eating a donut while chatting with friends, then heading back to work. From this routine, you can identify a number of potential rewards he could be craving:

• Distraction from work (taking a break from work to walk away from his desk)
• Social connection (chatting with friends)
• Hunger/burst of energy (eating a donut)
• A combination of them eg social connection + distraction from work, or hunger/burst of energy + social connection and so on.

Once he identified the possible cravings, he started to experiment with different routines that could meet the reward. See the framework below:

Every time he experimented with a new routine and tested the craving, he analyzed what he felt immediately he got back to his desk by writing the first three things, words or feelings that came to his mind. (This exercise forces a momentary awareness and calls to attention what we actually felt at that moment). After that, he would set an alarm for 15 minutes and check in with himself to see if the craving/urge was satisfied and document it. If not, he went on to the next experiment until it finally became a YES.

This exercise helped him identify:

1. The actual craving, and
2. A potential healthier substitute to the routine.

What cravings do you think satisfy the routine you identified in step 1? Write them down alongside what experiments you can run to test which one(s) are true.

STEP 3: Isolate The Cue

Once you identify the craving, you now need to isolate the cue!

To identify what triggers your cue, you need to analyze your behaviour against these 5 categories every time the craving, in this case, the craving for social connection & distraction presents itself:

1. Location — Where are you?
2. Time — What time is it?
3. Emotional State — What’s your emotional state?
4. Other People — Who else is around?
5. Immediate Preceding Action — What action preceded the urge?

By filling in the framework below every time the urge/craving presents itself, you give yourself the opportunity to identify any trends and eventually narrow down the cue. You can document this for however long it takes to see a pattern.

In the case of the author, his cue was time. Everyday between 3–4PM, he craved a social connection and distraction from work.

Now that you have the tools to isolate your cue, take some time and identify what triggers your behaviour. Once you do, you’ll have your cue, craving and tentative substitute solution jotted down. The only remaining and final step is to make a plan.

STEP 4: Make A Plan

The hard part is now over. Making a plan (aka implementation intention) is as simple as the example below based off of the author’s example.

Plan: At 3:30pm everyday, I will walk to a friend’s desk and talk for 10 minutes.

Having a plan isn’t a magic fix. The change won’t happen overnight. On the days you will be stressed or busy the old routine might take control, however being intentional about how you will choose to act once the cue presents itself is a good place to start.

So what’s your implementation intention aka plan? Write it down.

And that’s it! The 4 step framework explained with a real life example. You can check out the template by clicking the link below.

Access The Template

I hope this was clear. In case it wasn’t, feel free to reach out to me via email with any questions or comments.

Next week, we’ll dive deeper into the 4 fundamental laws of human behaviour and how we can align our habits with them to ensure they stick. You can check out a preview here and subscribe to get the post directly in your inbox.

Until next time, have a lovely week.

#ChooseToThrive