A love letter to everyone in their 20s
‘80% of life’s most significant events take place by age 35 as thirtysomethings and beyond largely either continue with, or correct for, the moves made during their 20somethings years.’ ~ Meg Jay, Author Defining Decade
Earlier this month, I got the chance to talk to 4th and 5th year Mechatronic Engineering students from Dedan Kimathi University in Nyeri. It was an amazing session where I got to share the tips I talk about here.
As I drove 150km from Nyeri back to Nairobi, I began to reflect on my 20s and it dawned on me that my 20s are coming to an end. How time flies! This reminded me of Meg Jay’s book, Defining Decade, which I read after my graduation. (I wish I read it earlier & highly recommend this book to anyone who hasn’t read it yet)
As I reflected on my 20s, I began to wonder what I would have done differently given the chance. To phrase it better, what advise would I give my younger self, given what I know now. This time around I reached out to my circle for guidance, asking them these two questions:
- What advice would you give to your younger self?
- What do you think you did when you were still in your early 20s that helped you get to the path you’re currently on?
Today’s article is as a result of the detailed and insightful responses I received from my circle, the people I get to interact and walk life with (Please do check out their profiles linked against their names). In this read, you’ll find some direct quotes, with majority of it being points shared by multiple people and my views weaved together.
Given that our 20s also cover our time in university, this article shares general tips that can be applied both in university and beyond. Let’s begin!
Put yourself out there
“Opportunities won’t find you on your couch. You have to go out and find them.” ~ QS. Joan, 28, Registered Quantity Surveyor
If all you have is a KCSE and degree certificate to write about, recruiters won’t have anything to justify an interview. Look for the practical component of your degree through internships (attachments), solo projects and volunteering your skills and time. This will enable you to gain tangible skills that are relevant in your line of work. You can further stand out by learning multiple soft skills like leadership, project management, working in teams, financial planning and many more by participating in clubs. Not just being a member, but actually leading various initiatives that can demonstrate various skills in your CV.
Think of your school work as just 50%, put the effort and get good grades, but remember that the other 50% will be about what you’re doing beyond class, so put yourself out there and explore everything and anything (within reason). Look for opportunities beyond what you know.
You want to explore being a graphic designer while you study law? Why not!
You want to organise events on the side while in University? Go ahead!
While you still hold the title ‘student’, you have the leeway to explore anything and everything. As my friend put it:
“Do the most because people expect the least from you. This is the time to try everything you’ve ever wanted; explore as many paths as possible. Learn from them, and discover yourself. Don’t feel bound to the one career decision you made in fourth form. In your early 20s, no one cares if you fail, and neither should you. It can sometimes be painful when you feel like you’ve lost, but chin up, because somewhere in there was a lesson; either about yourself or the situation. It’s not always about winning; it’s always about learning.” ~ Murage, 28, Entrepreneur, Start-Up Analyst & Writer.
So try as many things as possible and say yes to trying new things. You can read more about how to avoid self-rejection here and listen to this TED talk of how a year of saying yes changed Shonda Rhimes’ life.
Network. Network. Network.
There’s a reason they say, ‘Your network is your networth’. It sounds pretty cliche but it rings true with every new opportunity. Networking looks different to different people but the key thing is to think of networking as what you can do for others as opposed to what they can do for you. Ask questions, get to learn about them, their interests and see how you can support them. If you’re making a request, let your request be specific and light, keeping in mind that asking directly for a job doesn’t count as a light request. Here’s an example of a specific and light request:
“I’d love to hear more about your career journey, I’m currently considering a switch into your line of work, do you have 15 minutes to spare to share your journey with me?”
The main point of networking is to connect with people by having meaningful interactions not collecting contacts for the sake of it. Some conversations will go beyond the first encounter and others will not, and that’s ok. Take some time and read about the art of networking (to the introverts out there, there’s a lot of material online on networking for introverts). You can also read more on how to secure a mentor here.
“While in University I networked a lot. With older students, peers, younger students, faculty, corporates. Network with your peers, they’ll land in different organizations and eventually grow into management positions where they have decision making capacity. They will be partners in different ways in your career — customers, references to jobs, investors in your hustles etc.” ~ Sarah, 29, Senior VC Associate
Set your habits now
“Save save save! As little as it might be, just put some money aside” ~ Catherine, 28, Data Scientist
- Start saving and investing immediately you have an income, even if it’s while you’re in school. The amount is irrelevant, the discipline is what matters and whatever amount you save will eventually amount to something worthwhile. If you’re in a position to, automate the process, put a standing order that automatically moves the money from your current account to your savings account .e.g. a Money Market Fund (MMF). Automating the process removes any opportunity for you to spend the money or change your mind. We all know unplanned money always finds a purpose. Force yourself to work with what’s in your account after the savings have been deducted. To grow your financial knowledge you can check out the articles by wealth tribe for great resources tailored to a Kenyan audience.
- Dedicate time for exercise, even if it’s just a 30 minutes brisk walk several days a week. Take part in healthy practices such as journaling, meditating, exercising, resting. Show up for yourself.
- Build your work ethic, show up to work and be dedicated to the roles and opportunities you said yes to. ~ Steve, 27, Product Manager
- Start being intentional about decisions, take calculated risks but minimize mistakes that can be costly. Start asking yourself “A year or 5 years from now, if I have the same amount information I have now about this situation, am I likely to make this same decision again?” If the answer to this is yes, then you might make mistakes along the way because these are inevitable but you’ll have very few regrets.~ Sarah, 29, Senior VC Associate
- Practice boundary setting with those around you, learn to listen to yourself and your intuition, it gets better with practice. ~ QS. Joan, 28, Registered Quantity Surveyor
Start setting your habits now! It’s not about the intensity but the consistency.
Read smart, read wide.
Take some time to understand where the world is headed. Be an early adopter, understand the trends of where things are going and build skills in those areas. Read smart and read wide. Research the different career paths available to you and grow the necessary skills. You can use this career map to guide you on your research.
The only way to stay ahead is by being a life-long learner. Do online courses, upskill, learn how to work with others and what is expected of you in your day-to-day responsibilities. Take in as much knowledge as you can to stay ahead of the curve. Remember, knowledge is power.
“Commit to learning as much as you can every day. Be deliberate about being a daily student.” ~ Steve, 27, Product Manager
Choose your circle wisely
If you’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with, then we better choose our friends wisely. In your 20s, there’s a lot of development taking place, so you’re allowed to be selfish with your time and to be particular about who you interact with.
Join communities with people with similar goals and interests. If you’re interested in public speaking, join a toastmasters community. If you’re a student/professional, join your relevant student/professional bodies and participate by attending their events and taking part in the community’s activities.
“Have a group of people who you elevate each other — a visible council. A squad, where you talk about investments, work etc.. Whatever your interest/need is.” ~ Edna Kimenju, 29, Sustainability & Business Practitioner
Be patient with yourself
“Be more patient with yourself as you grow into adulthood. A lot of the things you rushed to get into as a young adult are now everyday things e.g. being able to afford going out, moving out, travel. Learn to enjoy being a young adult and trust that you will finally get to the vision you have in mind for what you want to do with your life.” ~ Steve, 27, Product Manager
“As you begin your career journey, focus on learning over money. Prioritizing learning will help you identify your areas of interest. Build relationships with people who have the skills you want to grow in or are where you want to be. It might get hard at some point, but it will eventually payoff. Learn to embrace patience over instant gratification.” ~ Mumbi, Country Growth Manager
A final bonus tip for those with financial family obligations:
“If you have family obligations awaiting when you start working, take up the predictable cost items only e.g. NHIF or private insurance if you can afford it, school fees, monthly food shopping. Have a specific budget based on your disposable income and do not go beyond this. Prioritize your investments since these make your giving sustainable and dependable down the line. Start building an emergency fund for real emergencies, not monthly consumption.” ~ Sarah, 29, Senior VC Associate
Thanks to my friends for sharing their nuggets of wisdom with me, making this article come to life.
So as you continue with university or maneuvering the work environment, remember these 6 key things:
It won’t always be easy. Some days will be harder than most but remember to always take it one day at a time and stay true to you.
I’ll leave you with these final words:
You might often feel like a round peg trying to fit in a square world. Yet, there is beauty in it. There is such a beauty in you…Oh yes, you will be challenged. There will be tough times. There will be dark days. You will often wish you could just become square and fit in...but just remember that those are just moments and like any moment they shall pass. You are doing good, and I am proud of you.~ Jean, 30, Senior Software Engineer.
With love,
From my circle to yours,
Lisa, 28, Program| Product Manager, Writer & Career Coach.
#ChooseToThrive
PS: Feel free to share more tips in the comment section or message me on LinkedIn.
